Random Tube thinking:
- pies are the new cupcakes
- beaver is a very warm animal pelt, if one were making a coat
- why does only one nostril run at a time?
- young children on scooters in public are annoying
- tapas

Discuss.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

In the interest of public safety, if you are a person who enjoys a pasty on the train home in the evenings... stay the hell away from me, m'kay? (Not sure what a pasty is? Check out the offending provider's website here.)

Seriously, those things are like little shortcrust parcels of stink! The offending smell seems to get into every olfactory nook and cranny I own and tips me right over the edge. I walk a fine line of being a good hearted commuter on the best of days (what? at least I admit it), but shove a pasty or some other form of offensive foodstuff near me in a cramped, confined space and I tend to get ... rather cranky.

I watched the man across from me last night sit and unattractively shovel one into his mouth over the course of about ten minutes. The weird thing was that he ate pretty much the entire thing with his eyes closed.

After he was finished, I did check to see if he had some kind of explainatory eye condition.. but nope, apres smelly pasty he was all happy, blinky and wide eyed.

This made me wonder.. am I missing out on the most delicious meal on the planet? I'd find it hard to believe... A mass produced pastry shell filled with various savoury fillings (including massive amounts of E numbers, more sodium than you need in a week and other things you'd probably be better off not knowing about) that's been sitting in a train station display case for Bejebus only knows how long?

Uh, no thanks.

I think I'll stick to my usual evening train diet that consists of air, breathing, playing Scrabble and being impatient. I'm a happy, happy commuter and don't you forget it.

abba or beegees

ABBA. Why is that? Because I'm the fucking Dancing Queen. And my middle name is Fernando.

Ask me anything

Christmas!,
originally uploaded by ebeth.

Here's a lesson from me to you... When you buy whatever meat you're making for the all important Christmas dinner, yeah? Make sure you read the instructions when it comes to cooking time.

Trust me on this one.

My patient household had to wait SEVEN hours for me to cook Christmas dinner. What's that? You didn't hear me correctly? Oh yes you did.. seven fucking hours.

In some ways, it was lovely to have that time.. the boys played umpteen games on the PlayStation. I read a magazine.. Boyfriend took a nap. All while the meat cooked on. and on. and on.

Did I mention it took seven hours to cook Christmas dinner*? Yeah, I thought I might've.

In other news, my daughter is here with us now after her holiday adventures with her father. This is the beginning of a brand new chapter as she'll be living here full time from today. This pleases me very much.

So - ho ho ho, check the time on that meat, ho ho ho!

(*this is a memory I'll never forget)

photo 4.JPG,
originally uploaded by ebeth.

So today is Christmas Eve-eve. I knew I should've written this yesterday because then I could've told you that it was Christmas Eve-eve-eve. Hmm.. Maybe I'll just tell you that today is New Year's Eve-eve-eve-eve-eve-eve-eve. Eve? Eve.

This is my first Christmas season in the UK since the year my daughter was born and we had no real choice but to stay in London as she was only four weeks old. However, since then, I've always spent Christmas and NYE in Atlanta with my family.

So a life changing year. My ex has my daughter this year and she's currently in snowy Northumberland with his family. I've never been apart from her on Christmas and while I know she'll be absolutely fine and well looked after there... I miss her.

I'll miss her early on Christmas morning waking me up around 3am. I'll miss trying to convince her that more sleeping is exactly what Santa would want us to do. I'll miss the surprise, wonder and slight confusion in her eyes on Christmas morning. (Remember when *your* parents bought you things you didn't know you wanted? Like those socks?)

I won't miss, however, untangling those fucking plastic twisty ties that seem to hold every single toy to its cardboard backing. Seriously, what the hell is with that? I'd gladly take up a shift at Toys R Us to ensure no one steals anything if it just means that I can open a toy and not have to spend ten minutes with a child hanging on me, trying to separate said toy from packaging.

So that's the slightly sad bit of my Christmas week.. the better bits are a new blended family to celebrate with over the coming days (including my daughter who will be with us the day after Boxing day). I'm looking forward to new traditions and a lot of laughter. I just know there will be laughter.

I'm heading into Christmas overdrive mode.. thinking about what to cook on Christmas day. Said overdrive mode does not seem to include Christmas cards.

I seem to be a retard when it comes to those. Think people will notice Valentine's cards with Christmas trees on them?

I have a cold and feel like crap. There are some people from my former life who are two faced and hurtful. There's snow everywhere but here. My mother divorced my father this year. Three gifts stand in the way between me and being smugly finished Christmas shopping. My daughter isn't here with me this weekend due to her father not being able to control his emotions in front of her. My nose hurts from blowing it often.

The above is everything that's lacklustre about my life at the moment... I put all the negative things there to set them free. I no longer solely own them. You're welcome to start your own list to kick the annoying things in your life to the kerb.

Your annoying life issues can hang out with mine. They could, like, go bowling and have a beer.

Now.. Time to focus on the positive things, of which there are many. I think I shall start with putting down a gadget and scooting closer to the gorgeous man in my bed...

Easy there, perverts.. /grin

Fucking fa la la la la, la la la la.
/grin