Christmas!,
originally uploaded by ebeth.

Here's a lesson from me to you... When you buy whatever meat you're making for the all important Christmas dinner, yeah? Make sure you read the instructions when it comes to cooking time.

Trust me on this one.

My patient household had to wait SEVEN hours for me to cook Christmas dinner. What's that? You didn't hear me correctly? Oh yes you did.. seven fucking hours.

In some ways, it was lovely to have that time.. the boys played umpteen games on the PlayStation. I read a magazine.. Boyfriend took a nap. All while the meat cooked on. and on. and on.

Did I mention it took seven hours to cook Christmas dinner*? Yeah, I thought I might've.

In other news, my daughter is here with us now after her holiday adventures with her father. This is the beginning of a brand new chapter as she'll be living here full time from today. This pleases me very much.

So - ho ho ho, check the time on that meat, ho ho ho!

(*this is a memory I'll never forget)

photo 4.JPG,
originally uploaded by ebeth.

So today is Christmas Eve-eve. I knew I should've written this yesterday because then I could've told you that it was Christmas Eve-eve-eve. Hmm.. Maybe I'll just tell you that today is New Year's Eve-eve-eve-eve-eve-eve-eve. Eve? Eve.

This is my first Christmas season in the UK since the year my daughter was born and we had no real choice but to stay in London as she was only four weeks old. However, since then, I've always spent Christmas and NYE in Atlanta with my family.

So a life changing year. My ex has my daughter this year and she's currently in snowy Northumberland with his family. I've never been apart from her on Christmas and while I know she'll be absolutely fine and well looked after there... I miss her.

I'll miss her early on Christmas morning waking me up around 3am. I'll miss trying to convince her that more sleeping is exactly what Santa would want us to do. I'll miss the surprise, wonder and slight confusion in her eyes on Christmas morning. (Remember when *your* parents bought you things you didn't know you wanted? Like those socks?)

I won't miss, however, untangling those fucking plastic twisty ties that seem to hold every single toy to its cardboard backing. Seriously, what the hell is with that? I'd gladly take up a shift at Toys R Us to ensure no one steals anything if it just means that I can open a toy and not have to spend ten minutes with a child hanging on me, trying to separate said toy from packaging.

So that's the slightly sad bit of my Christmas week.. the better bits are a new blended family to celebrate with over the coming days (including my daughter who will be with us the day after Boxing day). I'm looking forward to new traditions and a lot of laughter. I just know there will be laughter.

I'm heading into Christmas overdrive mode.. thinking about what to cook on Christmas day. Said overdrive mode does not seem to include Christmas cards.

I seem to be a retard when it comes to those. Think people will notice Valentine's cards with Christmas trees on them?

I have a cold and feel like crap. There are some people from my former life who are two faced and hurtful. There's snow everywhere but here. My mother divorced my father this year. Three gifts stand in the way between me and being smugly finished Christmas shopping. My daughter isn't here with me this weekend due to her father not being able to control his emotions in front of her. My nose hurts from blowing it often.

The above is everything that's lacklustre about my life at the moment... I put all the negative things there to set them free. I no longer solely own them. You're welcome to start your own list to kick the annoying things in your life to the kerb.

Your annoying life issues can hang out with mine. They could, like, go bowling and have a beer.

Now.. Time to focus on the positive things, of which there are many. I think I shall start with putting down a gadget and scooting closer to the gorgeous man in my bed...

Easy there, perverts.. /grin

Fucking fa la la la la, la la la la.
/grin

When in Rome.,
originally uploaded by ebeth.

So it's sort of feeling like this is going to be yet another 'ooh, don't panic, I'm still here' post...

I mean, if that's what you're expecting, I'd hate to let you down. I'm nice like that and you love it. No, really.. You do.

By 'you' - I mean me. Why is that? Because I'm pretty fucking sure that I"m the only person on the planet that reads the blurbage that rolls lovingly from my fingertips. I'm cool with it. Honest.

So - where've I been? What have I been doing? Eh - not much, really. I think I'm in hibernate mode and for whatever reason, I've not been super virtual lately. The really cool thing is that I'm 125% fine with it.

Bear with me.. uh, me. I'll write something more profound soon.

Ps - Let me know if you want to know what I'd like for Christmas. I'll give you a hint. It starts with P and ends with Dro. Just saying.

New iPhone 4? Why yes, yes it is.. /nerdgasm

Pumkin Carving II

My boyfriend and I had a seriously nerdy chat about blogging the other night. See, we both blog, but we use different hosts/tools/sites/things/whatnot..

He's a Posterous (have I even spelled that correctly?) Person and I'm a Blogger lover (mind you, I bought Google early so maybe that has something to do with it).

The entire point if this post? To show Mr Posterwhatsitsname that you can blog via email using a Blogger app on the iPhone. See? See?!

Currently, I'm a zillion feet underground on the Northern Line, late for my next train. Oh, and I am all kindsa smished into someone's stinky armpit. God, I love the Underground in colder weather.. It smells of mothballed wet woolley socks.

That's me, friends.. Living the dream. Living the motherfucking corporate commuting dream*.

[* I'm not complaining because I like the motherfucking corporate money and I didn't buy Google *that* early…]

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone (See? See?!)

Zillions and zillions of years ago, there was this girl. Said girl had a blog where she enjoyed saying a whole bunch of everything and nothing on a relatively regular basis.


However, something* happened to the girl and she fell off the blogging planet. I'm happy to report that the proverbial bitch is back, friends...


Like sands through the hourglass, plenty of life has been lived since my last post (I do hope you enjoyed a bit of Neil Diamond - c'mon, don't lie. You love Neil Diamond.). My boyfriend and I spent his birthday weekend in Amsterdam. We had a most excellent time. Where else can you land somewhere and be rather "relaxed" in the space of an hour and a bit? Hmmm...?!


For obvious reasons I'll not go into too much detail, but suffice it to say that we had a great time exploring the touristy side of the city - the world famous SexMuseum, canal tour and walk through the Red Light district.. all very interesting stuff. Oh wait! I made us eat a kroket from FEBO. We live life on the edge, n'est pas?


When I think of our weekend there, I think of snacks. Lots of Dutch inspired snacks. To be fair, we had far bigger snacking eyes than snacking stomachs and ended up bringing a lot back with us or leaving it in a bin. You heard it here first, we were defeated mightily by Amstersnacks.

A mere four days after, we headed to Chicago, Illinois for the start of a 28 hour road trip through the flat bits of Illinois and the hilly bits of Iowa. We had an amazing time and came face to face with Jesus at a gas station in Dubuque, Iowa. Sorry, what? Life highlight? I know, right?


Actually, thinking about it... Gas Station Jesus, staying in a roadside motel, camo clothes shopping at WalMart at 4am and learning how to play nickel poker at a casino. Definite highlights. Oh, and passing a place called Family Beer and Wine. I mean, because nothing says Family like booze!


After the first two legs of our road trip, we paused in Galena, Illinois for my mother's wedding. Watching your mom get remarried when you're 38 is weird. Seeing your 93 year-old grandmother enjoying quite a bit of wine isn't weird, it's funny.


We finished up our quick trip to the Heartland of America with a wallet smooshing trip to Sports Authority where I finally bought a North Face coat I'd been lusting after. Yes, I know.. I know.. I do look like a marshmellow in it.


But dude, I look like a hot marshmellow at the very least. And that, my friends, is what's ultimately important.


More rambly bloggity goodness later.. the weekend beckons!


[*life, domestic bliss, discovering Dog the Bounty Hunter, work]

You are the sun
I am the moon
You are the words
I am the tune
Play me

,
originally uploaded by ebeth.

I think it's been an absolute age since I've looked forward to a weekend as much as I'm looking forward to the one on the horizon.. The one that starts in about five hours physically and has already begun mentally.

I'd love to tell you of my glamourous plans for world domination, but the truth is that I have nothing planned for the weekend whatsoever and that, friends, is a fucking awesome feeling. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing.

Nada + Zip = Sweet Fuck All

In food related weekend news: I've already been told by my partner in crime that I'm making pancakes tomorrow morning, and I'm thinking they're going to be banana and pecan pancakes. Why? Because I can. And you know there will be bacon sammiches on Sunday because there are *always* bacon sammiches on Sundays.

It's, like, the law.

I think I might try to stay in my slousers (why, yes, that is the technical term for 'slouchy trousers') for an entire day while playing Guitar Hero World Tour and DJ Hero until my ears and fingers bleed. I forsee some bad movie watching in bed under the best and most cloud-like duvet in the world. Who knows, I just might convince myself to sleep a bit more than usual.

Okay, I know that's not very likely. One of the dangers of getting up at 4:45am Monday through Friday is that my body/brain doesn't quite get that it should sleep past that time on Saturday and Sunday. We shall see.. there's always crap television on somewhere.

Ooh! Maybe I'll take one of those new-fangled, rumoured pleasurable naps I've heard so much about! The problem with that is I'll feel like I've missed out on hours of excitement and fun. Truth is, I'll be vacantly absent for hours of lovely nothingness. I'd hate to miss that. I do love a bit of nothing and everything, you see.

Window shopping! Maybe we'll go into town (the new small but bigger town I live in, not smelly, hot, tourist infected London) and grab a coffee and peruse the shops... I hear there's a new Argos catalogue out. That, in itself, could keep me busy for ten to 20 minutes at least. Who wouldn't want to plan their Elizabeth Duke jewelry purchases in advance?*

Right. My mind is totally ticking over at the thought of so much free time and so little responsibility. I have a few things that need doing before I check out for the weekend ... Blergh. Maybe we'll talk about those in a later post.

I'll give you a hint.. it'll most likely be a bit of a rant about how everyone deserves to be treated like a person, regardless of what you think they've done or not done to you or someone you know.

I know, right? It's gonna be a heckuva lotta fun to write and read that.

Stay crazy, kids...

Hmm.. How to kill an hour.,
originally uploaded by ebeth.

Seriously, how LONG has it been since I last posted anything? I suppose I could give you a life run down if you thought that might be excuse worthy and / or helpful?

This August will make ten years for me in London .. to celebrate, I'm uh, getting the hell out of the city! The sparkle of urban life has worn thin for me over the past few years and while it's awesomesauce to have so much culture on the doorstep, well.. I'm tired of the grime, noise and general overcrowding. Recent changes in my life have made it possible for me to escape and I'm pretty happy about it. I'm not going that far, just a few miles north, but far enough to not have to cope with things I dislike 24/7.

Having said that, I'll still commute into the city on a daily basis, so I suppose if I start to miss the filth, smog, grime and people bumping into me without so much as an excuse me, I'll still be able to get my fill.

I was going to continue on to tell you all about the warm summer we're having.. but uh, I'm back in tights today as it's gone a bit blergh at the moment. So, I'll save my summer talk for another time. I will say this, the humidity can fuck right off. My hair and I are incredibly grumpy. 'Frizzy Puffabll Head' is not a good look, I'm just saying. I mean, I'm still rocking it but it takes effort.

In reference to the aforementioned life changes.. well, they're still changing. Some days are better than others but in general, one bit is pretty fucking crap and the other bit is pretty fucking awesome.

That's me folks, I'm a walking dichotomy.

Game Face.,
originally uploaded by ebeth.

Oh how I hate to ignore you.. No, really, I do.

There's so much to say yet nothing that I want to share with the world as these days it seems whatever nonsense I spout is often taken the wrong way or relatively harshly judged.

So uh, Hi.. it's me.

I took the day off yesterday and revelled in the chance to avoid responsibility for anything more important than scoring hot cinnamon and sugar donuts at the seaside. I should add that not only did I score three hot and delicious donuts at said seaside, I managed not to burn my fingers and only spent £2 in the pick n'mix section of the local sweet shop. Seriously, I consider these two things victories.

Hmm.. what else. If you're in the know and following along with my life adventure I can report that things are okay, no one's fallen off the planet yet due to lack of gravity. Life, you may or may not want to know, is pretty sweet with a few minor exceptions that are neither here nor there .. We all have frustrations and I'm no exception.

In nerd news.. iPhone 4G. A gyroscope, huh? Will this help me finally get past the level I'm stuck on in Angry Birds? Stupid, stupid game. It should be called Angry Elizabeth.. Why I started playing is beyond me.

More news as I have it...

Buns.,
originally uploaded by ebeth.

I like this picture.. mainly because the iced buns look like boobs. Yeah, I went there.

It's the Friday before a Bank Holiday Monday.. I'm super stoked about the upcoming weekend. Not that I have major plans that involve slowly driving a caravan across the UK, clogging up traffic while I cruise at 55mph .. I sort of wish I did. I think caravans are hot*.

I think my weekend will include a lot of laughing, geekery, some relaxing, some silly, maybe a few made up competitions and some pretty decent eating. I mean, there'll be a Sunday - and there's always bacon on Sundays.

I think I'm having Friday ADHD. There was something I wanted to write about and it seems to have completely escaped me. Oh well.

Did I mention that those buns look like boobs?

(*not really)

The view from here.,
originally uploaded by ebeth.

At the moment, I'm spending my time moving between here and there both literally and figuratively.

Time is standing still and flying past all at once and there isn't very much I can do to stop it. I should add that I'm not sure I'd want to, anyway.

This weekend I have a very difficult task ahead of me that will change one little life forever. It's not something I take lightly or head into without significant thought and care and frankly, it scares the hell out of me.

Who am I to change someone's life without their permission? Who gave me the right to make decisions for others? I know I'm the responsible adult making up half the decision making team - but seriously, how did that happen?

Most days, I feel like I'm about 12 .. but facing this weekend, I feel every day, week and month of my 38 years.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I told anyone that would listen to me that I had no expectations for her birth but that I just wanted to get through it with humour and grace. I suppose that's what I'm wishing for this weekend.

I'd like to tell my daughter that I'm getting divorced .. with humour and grace.

So yeah.. There are a few things afoot at the moment. I'm sure you'll ask me diretly if you want to know anything, right?

I mean.. gossip kills, people! Let's play safe out there, okay?

I'm currently sitting on a porch of a local restaurant listenting to a local cover band that plays only southern rock.

Friends, you can take the girl out of the south... But that girl might get a bit weepy when she hears the music of her people.

And yeah.. She's been drinking, but when you look over and see your very British child singing along to Sweet Home Alabama.. Well, that's concentrated awesome.

I know. I'll shush now.

Just Breathe

Redneck.

So taking a holiday for two and a half weeks is pretty much insane to begin with.. I think most people can handle about ten days of holiday before thoughts turn from 'Whee!' to 'Whoah!'

An additional eight days was sort of just asking for slightly more stress and even more boredom.

I think being an expat, I always feel like I have to maximize time with my family as I have it. That and having a child in a school with a three week Easter break.. Well, it just sort of added up to taking two and a half weeks. So, that was cool and I'd made peace with being away from Corporateland.

But a freaking Icelandic volcano shutting down European airspace?! Boy, I didn't see that coming..

I can't get home now for another week.. My flight has been rebooked for a week and a day later than originally planned and thats assuming that flights are able to happen again soon. Fuuuuck off, volcanic ash.

I've been amusing myself trying to hang out in weird, quirky local places. The picture over there was taken at 11pm at the convienence store, where i decided to try on various redneck hats and alphabetize all the different varieties of pork rinds. Who knew there were so many amazing flavours of fried pig flesh?

So I'm now contemplating how to spend the additional week here.. I'll admit I'm treading water in a pretty impressive stylee. My two week gym membership has run out, I've used up all my credit on my Starbucks card, I've already gone on a comedy underpants buying spree, I've hung out at the Apple Store more than once to creep wifi, I ran out of Maoam two days ago, I've played and almost enjoyed Pirate themed mini-golf... The absolutely mundane and stupid complaints go on and on. And yes, I realise I'm being a bit annoyingly tediously whingey. I know.. I know..

In other news.. I continue to adore my iPad. love it very, very much. It's not been out of my line of sight in the last two weeks.

I'm trying to avoid covering it in pork rind crumbs and droplets of cheap beer. Honest.

ps - there's no freaking way I'd eat pork rinds.. and the Miller High Life 40oz beer? Well, as much as I'd love to drink it out of a paper bag in a parking lot somewhere.. I'm really more of a $3 bottle of screw top wine girl.

I'm going to the gym.

Yeah, nothing more to report. I'll do better tomorrow.

I have to admit something to you. I'm not a very girly girl. I care not so much for shoes and I tend to only get excited about a handbag if it's cute *and* functional. It gets extra points with me if it has lots of nifty pockets and headphone storage. I guess you could say I'm more backpack than evening bag - more boot than shoe.

So armed with the above, you can join me for a giggle that I'm at the nail salon with my daughter and mom having a pedicure. I feel rather pretty, witty and gay!

The pastor at my parents' church just said tattoos, jeans and secular music are evil. I swear, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

I shit you not it's like I'm in Footloose. C'mon kids - let's cross the county line and throw a senior prom!

So uh.. yesterday. I'm not sure if you're aware but Apple launched the iPad into the geekosphere. I might've marched my ass down to the closest Apple Store and bought one.

I'm not saying I did. I'm saying that I might've. Okay, fuck it. I did and it's a tiny box full of mega concentrated awesome.

I have a bit of a she-cave going on here on my floor in my parents' house (remember, I'm on holiday, supposedly relaxing) .. so as I look around me, I have my MacBook Pro in front of me, my iPad to its left and my iPhone to the right.

Where did I put that Uhura jumper again? I think I'm going to need it. Thankfully, I look hot in tight and red. Ooh and that little doohickey thing that let's me speak to others just by pressing my shirt - well, that is kind of appealing too.

So far I've had massive nerd ADHD and haven't really found myself that stuck in to any one app on the iPad. I just keep bouncing from app to app to app, paying a bit here and there.

The one thing I will say is that I'm a bit put out at how much the paid apps are for the iPad. It's a pretty rare day when I shuck out anything more than £2 for an iPhone app. Most of the iPad apps are running in the $5-$10* range. Holy that's too expensive Batman! I'm hoping we see the price point going down a bit as more and more apps come online. I mean, I'm cute but I'm not made of money.

More news as I have it.. hey - Happy Easter, by the way.

(*I'm in America and the iPad isn't available in the UK yet - so who knows what the app prices will be in GBP.)

You might be interested to know that it took the following for me to finally make wifi happen at Starbucks today:

• I had to buy a new American Starbucks card
• I had to put money on said new American Starbucks card
• On my iPhone I had to register said new American Starbucks card
• On my iPhone I had to create an AT&T account which is linked to my new American Starbucks card 
• I had to then log in to use the wifi

By which time I'd already demolished my triple* grande sugar-free vanilla latte and it was time to go. 

But next time... next time - I'm so there. Hell, I may even stay for my two hours maximum wifi'age. I triple dog dare me. 

*Yes, I know that isn't my usual order. I'd just been to the gym and totally talked myself into it. Uh, I'll be sticking with the double tall as usually ordered. The grande was just too much.

I'd like to marry Valium and make it my wife.

Maximum dose onboard.. We are fucking all systems go! I know we're on an aeroplane very high up .. But look! There's magazines! And shopping! And blankets! And that (not very nice) lady just brought me ice cream!

Where am I again?

My apologies to the people waiting in line behind me for the loo. See, I've just recently learned the choreography to the new Lady GaGa Telephone video... And it just made sense to plug into headphones abd practice there. I know, hot, huh?

Oh, what? You had to pee? I gently ask you to revise your principles on this..

In other news we're coming in to land in Atlanta.. Mote from wifi world as I think it up..

Want to see anything on request?

I was totally Shuffle Punched by Billy Joel, of all people! I mean, like "ka-bam, howsya like this, then!?!" Then the ball (which I'm using as a metaphor for my teeny brain) gets the crap whacked out of it as it goes sailing out of the stadium. And I'm just left standing there at home plate looking more than a little vacant and rather confused.

So yeah - Billy Joel. BillyfreakingJoel. Apparently I will weep on demand if you play 'you're my home'...

I know, right? Shocked the crap our of me too. I blame the Valium.

Dude - I'm 39,000 feet high! Over water! Only slightly concerned about how wiggly this flight seems to be..

How much longer?

Not only am I awake and in a taxi on the way to the airport.... I'm ever so slightly a little too perky for this hour of the morning.

I feel kinda sorry for anyone who has already or will be speaking to me in the near future. I think I'm so buzzy on lack of sleep and 'oh shit' adrenaline that my voice has gone up at least two octaves.

Yes, that's right. I now sound like a dolphin.

That's hot, right?

I'm thinking about doing the flight from City to Dublin without drugs. It'd be rude of me to ask for vodka at 7am, though, huh? I just want to save the zoom zoom good drugs for the flight from Dublin to Atlanta..

I'm rationing the zoom. Mainly to help me stay calm. Okay, I admit it.. For a bit of fun too.

Seriously? I would make a very good stoned 70's housewife.

I have to be awake in two hours. I have to be in a taxi en route to the airport in three hours. I have to take off in an aeroplane in four and a half hours.

In five and a half hours I'll be in Dublin airport. In seven and a half hours I'll be en route to Atlanta.

A mere 17.5 hours from now I'll land in Atlanta.

Adventure ahoy..

Plaits are hot.,
originally uploaded by ebeth.

I'm just in the door from an excellent weekend at the World Horror Convention in Brighton. As promised, I did not a lot on the horror / books / writers / other people front.

I did spend time with some really fantastic friends (@airab, @nashg, @maybeitwasutah, @sianmeadowcroft, @snaxhanso, @apdunne, @linzidink, @demonchild6) and met some other (lesser well known to me)Twitter folk. It was a really rather mellow time and we all did whatever we wanted to do, crashing into each other every now and again.

The highlight of my weekend - sitting in my (very hard to find and rather out of the way) hotel room on my own, listening to music on my MacBook Pro, while getting stoned, eating Starburst and watching the ocean. That little jolly led to a most excellent nap. Actually, probably one of the best naps on record.

Both evenings were good fun - Friday night just about killed me so I was forced to seek a slightly different intoxication path for Saturday. Whatever pear cider I was drinking.. well, I'd like to marry it.

In other news, I have a helluva week coming up as I leave to go on holiday on Thursday. There is much to do in Corporateland™ before I leave town and don't even ask me about packing. Everything will happen but it's going to take some major one step at a time energy from me to get from here to there.

Worst case, I might have to bust out the valium prior to take off. I'm not above it, you know.

I think I have a brain that is incapable of standing still. Okay, yes, I know that is a bit of a silly statement. Brains don't have feet. Duh.

Instead of taking my usual approach of one step at a time, I seem to be leaping and bounding ahead. Well, mentally anyway. I'm well past Brighton / World Horror this weekend and now in a bit of a 'Wait, I'm not ready to go on holiday' jag.

Oh wait, I know what my issue is.. I don't want to go on holiday. You read that wrong, didn't you? I'll say it again, but slower.

I don't want to go on holiday.

Nope. No way. I'm not in the mood. I'm just finding my feet in my new role in Corporateland™ and for the first time in the week and a half since I started on this floor, I've only just made headway with what it is that I'm actually supposed to be doing. The thought of walking away from it for two and a half weeks kind of freaks me out. [eBeth fact number three: I love working. Weird, huh?]

I have, however, gone ahead and paid a visit to the lovely GP in the medical centre here who has ample prescription writing skills and is incredibly receptive to my Jedi Mind Trick regarding Valium. So I am ready for the 9.5 hours of flight hell that awaits. Even if I don't want to be there. Nothing like getting legally high at 39,000 feet.

I suppose the fact that I don't want to go on holiday is actually a rather strange sign that I just might need one.

Ponderful.

The Big Bang Theory - Tampon Talk

Sunday night. Man, I dislike Sunday nights.

In addition to the OCD bit of my brain that starts ticking over everything on the coming week's horizon, the 'ooh, what a lovely weekend I've had' bit keeps thinking about the ..uh..  lovely weekend I've had.

It kind of makes for a very busy brain. And seeing as how my brain just isn't that big to begin with, it makes normal mental function near impossible. So, see, I'm not just sitting here on the sofa in a coma-like state because I want to. It's sort of necessary for important things like, organ health and general survival.

The upcoming week will be interesting ... In addition to the usual [albeit new and therefore slightly more stressful] daily grind, the World Horror Convention is coming up at the end of the week. I signed up to go last April, wondering if I was still going to know all these really cool writery types that were planning to attend this conference I'd never heard of back then. I'm pleased to say that I still know all of them and absolutely can't wait to hang out with them in Brighton this weekend!

Of course, while I'm a fan of books and writers in general, I'm not super into horror as a genre. So I'm just sort of going along for the ride. I hear there might be a bar at the hotel that needs propping up!

I think WHC kicks off on Thursday and I'll be sliding in to the join in the fun on Friday evening. Bless the poor unsuspecting population of Brighton.

Okay. Back to my Sunday evening coma. There's thinking, remembering the 1% of my weekend I might've forgotten, work wardrobe dilemmas to ponder and finer week details to obsess about.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programme...

∞

Well - let's see. I've hit every other form of social networking this evening, might as well throw something up here as well. Just to put the final jewel in my Queen Dorktoria crown. 


You'll thank me. 


It's now 01:48am. I have to be up and in situ in Corporateland™ at 8am. You are not allowed to remind me that I've done this to myself when I complain in quantity tomorrow. Just rub my head and tell me I'm pretty. That'll do nicely. 


I've just spent an age watching @davesusetty ramble on Twitcam. I say I watched him ramble - I mean, I spent time trying to resist the urge to get on the next flight to Ireland so we could toast with something of the merrymaking variety. Any man that's willing to be a toilet paper ninja during an #ebethchallenge is a total keeper. (and that @delilahsnook is a lucky girl!)


Dave was incredibly kind when he noticed I was watching (I say watching, I mean staring and giggling like a 12 year old girl). He may not remember them tomorrow, but he said some really lovely things about me and Twitter. I was particularly touched when he mentioned that were it not for Twitter he wouldn't have any friends. Now, I'm certain he's embellishing the truth there .. because he's incredible. But I digress. 


It just caused me to pause and reflect on how much (and I'm pretty certain I'm not alone) I've been lucky to find via Twitter. This past year of hardcore tweeting has allowed me to be me for me and that.. well, friends.. that is pretty fucking awesome. 


#grouphug?

I've been feeling a bit lost lately.. Not that I'm wandering around Corporateland in search of my desk, mind you.

Although, having said that, I did spend a few weeks with two of them. That was a bit confusing.

I seem to be spending a lot if time in my own head at the moment. Lately, there is relatively limited access to others. I think my brain requires a security swipe card and high level clearance.

I'm sure it's just a phase. Maybe I'll grow out of it.

In other news.. I'm not as unhappy as I might seem. So there.

What a weekend I've had. Wait, it's only Saturday? Yikes. I think it might all be downhill from here.

I've just been reminded that a friend of mine from way back in the way back is going to be in London on Thursday. I'm talking like, University friend kinda way back. I think it's been about 16 years since I've seen him. There is no doubt in my mind that we'll pick up exactly where we left off so many years ago. But it might be slightly odd to see someone from the past in my current.


I'm really glad he reminded me that he's going to be in town... because apparently he's staying on my sofa for a night!


Lots going down in eBeth town this week.. this is my last week in my current role in Corporateland™. So my leaving drinks are tomorrow night (do stop by, won't you?) and plenty of lunches, cocktails and frivolity are also planned in my honour. 


Remind me to breathe a bit, will you?

Ooh! Ooh! Guess who didn't even have to weep openly?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I think today will be a good day. 

Today is the day I'm going to the Apple Store at Westfield with my best pouty puppy eyes. You know, the ones that say 'H-h-h-h-help me, Mr Apple Genius. I know I don't have an appointment but my iPhone is ever so slightly fucked. I'm just a girl and can't make the swooshy thing go swish and I don't know nearly as much as you do..' Hell, I think I might throw in a few lip bites, a wibbly chin and if I'm really desperate I'll start to curl my hair around my finger. 

Yeah, I don't think it'll get me very far, either. 

But I do think I'll walk out of there with a replacement iPhone and £139 not in my wallet. I've talked myself into replacing it by taking my emotional health into consideration. It's for the best, really. 

Other day highlights will include: a red velvet cupcake from Buttercup, double tall sugar free vanilla lattes from Starbucks, nerd shirt shopping at Uniqlo and of course, a viewing of Alice in Wonderland. 

Seriously, it's looking like nerdvana. Don't worry, the Apple Store is first stop so you'll be with me all the way. Right in my pocket, just where I like you.  Oh crap. I just realised in my last post I sweet talked a gadget. Now I'm loving up the entire fucking internet. 

I'm not normal, am I?! Wait.. don't answer that. Quick! Look over there.. porn!

Miracles do happen, friends.. Lobot (pay attention, that's my iPhone, remember?) managed to break the surly bonds of his restore shame spiral at some point in the middle of the night.

It was like leaving cookies out for Santa and finding nothing but meaty nerdtastic crumbs the next morning, I tell you!

So fingers crossed that he clings to just a little more life.. preferably until Apple release the next iPhone. I am incredibly tempted to just say fuck it and give Apple just a little more of my money for a replacement. Every time he dies (and it happens often) the emotional turmoil just gets that much more unbearable.

I'm running it in native mode plus a Twitter client. I'm cool not having any fancy apps on there for the moment. Oh, and I kiss Lobot every time I pick him up and have told him many, many times how beautiful he's looking today. Yeah, you know it - I'm sweet talking a gadget.

I think I need an intervention.

My iPhone is dead.

Lobot* had been rather unwell for the past two months or so.. Every now and again, I would sync him and he'd just sort of lay there. Syncing.  Then he'd fall over and get stuck in a pretty unexciting restore cycle.

I'd last managed to resurrect Lobot about two weeks ago. I carefully chose which apps to install. Heck, it was a nice two weeks. I even put some music on him.

Sadly, Tonight I was Ping'ing and checking my email and he passed away. I've not been able to restore him as I've always been able to in the past. I'm afraid it's curtains for Lobot**.

I'm guessing tomorrow I'll be finding an Apple Store and shucking out £139 for a replacement iPhone. Even worse will be spending any amount of time talking to a so called Genius.

Mr Smug will ask me all sorts of questions while assuming that I know sweet fuck all about computers. Is it because I use the phrases 'button thingie' (home key) and 'goes all, like, whoosh' (when you swipe between pages)? Geez. Some people just don't get my nerd cool vibe, huh?

So, to my fellow iPhone lovers / users / friends. Cuddle your iPhone extra tight tonight. Sleep with it next to you and realise how very special your relationship is. Think of those of us who are less fortunate.

Lobot, my man, rest in peace dude.

[*Yeah, I name all my gadgets after Star Wars characters. Doesn't everyone?]
[**motherfucker! motherfucker! motherfucker!]

Why have I never been into David & Goliath before? That place is nerd central with all sorts of silly t-shirts, pj bottoms, mouse mats, badges, glasses ... the list goes on and on!

I mean, any place that sells Mathlete items totally gets my vote. Yeah, you know what comes next.. my admission to you that I was a Mathlete in high school. Heck, I was a good one except in impromptu competition. I can rock a single subject exam (specialities of the eBeth house - algebra and geometry) like no one's business ..  but throw in calculus and trig on a timed basis and I can't perform. Oh god, that sounds like I had math impotence issues.

Sorry - where was I? Oh yes, David & Goliath! I think I had several geekgasms in there .. highlights include the pj bottoms that read 'spooning leads to forking' and the t-shirt that I had in my hands to buy ... but then thought that it'd only be really funny if I'd been drinking. I'm not a fan of buyers remorse, so I put it back.

I'll regret that later.

What to bore you with today.. the mind boggles.

I am so gay for all of the Symphony of Science (@musicalscience) tracks right now. I mean, like, life soundtrack kind of queer. Electronic music and science, what could be nicer?

My favourite track? We are All Connected. I'm not ashamed to tell you that it's my favourite because I think Bill Nye (the Science Guy) is hot.

Oh wait, you didn't know I was a geek? [Get to know eBeth moment number two: I was the president of the astronomy club at University and a Mathelete in High School.]

"I'm this guy standing on a planet. Really I'm just a speck.
Compared with a star, the planet is just another speck.
To think about all of this, to think about the vast emptiness of space..
There's billions and billions of stars, billions and billions of specks..."

Firstly, I should tell you that I like my mother in law. She's very nice and has always been kind to me. She's been visiting to help with the odds and ends of being home alone and the school run / childcare this week.

I'm totally fine making polite conversation and I've even come to a point in my life where I can ignore the newspapers that seem to breed in my living room when she's around. [Get to know eBeth moment number one: I hate newspaper. I don't like the way it feels and I don't like the way it smells; I will walk miles to avoid being near one. Thank crap for online news.] But I'm a girl who likes her space. So most nights I've been borrowing the excuse of an early bedtime and making my way to my room.

Dudes. I've totally got one sweet set up going in there. I'm like the Lieutenant Uhura of duvets and computers and iPhones and instant messaging and internet radio. Seriously. Get me a tight red jumper and you'd never be able to tell us apart.

Last night I totally looked around me as I was about thiiiiiiiiis close to slipping into a nerd nirvana coma.. and I just thought to myself that there are loads of people who totally wouldn't get how awesome it was. But there are some who completely get it.

Those people? Those are my people.

And so I leave you for now with this..

Here's a middle class whinge for you.. I am taking daughter to school on the bus (well, actually two) tomorrow instead of driving her as usual. I've just realised that tomorrow is Monday and Monday is cello lesson day.

Pity me lugging that fucking thing south of the river on public transport, will ya?

And in other news.. cocktail, anyone?

"Do one thing every day that scares you."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Oh how I wish I had a button like this one. Although I'd probably get some kind of weird repetitive strain injury from pushing it a lot.

Speaking of buttons .. As you might know, I have a general dislike of idioms and one of my least favourites is 'don't push my buttons.' (It's right up there with 'Gather the low hanging fruit' and 'Doing a bit of blue sky thinking'.. ) The definition of that, in the nicest vocabulary I can muster, is 'you are starting to annoy me.' Otherwise known in my brain as ... wait for it ... 'You are starting to piss me off, so back the fuck up before I turn into a hurricane of rage and get all thermonuclear on your ass..' Or something to that effect.

This is the tangent paragraph where I tell you that I've only ever become a bad meteorological analogy once and it's the only time I've ever punched someone. Being sweet, innocent and dreadfully 21 at the time,  I didn't know you aren't supposed to punch someone with your thumb tucked neatly inside your fist. So I broke mine. I spent the entire summer that year in plaster. The karmic bit, because life is like that, is that my broken thumb was set in a super classy 'thumbs up' position. So not only did I have an awesome reputation for being someone who punches someone, I looked like Fonzie for five weeks. Aaay!

Sorry - where was I?

I do think we all have other sorts of buttons as well. Like, I wouldn't really admit it, but I totally have a soft, gooey button (easy there, pervert) that is a bit tricky to find at times that makes me go all mushy and sentimental and usually results in my brain turning into that of a gay 12 year-old girl.

But I suppose more discussion on that topic should really be for another time. You know, like, when I've been drinking and get all tired and emotional. Oh, wait. I forgot. I'm not that girl. Uh.. I'll just go gather some low hanging fruit now.

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
-Mitch Ratcliffe

So in the space of about five minutes, I've set up a new blog and had demands to perform or else.

I am not your fucking monkey, people.

Oh, wait.

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?