I'm currently sitting on a porch of a local restaurant listenting to a local cover band that plays only southern rock.

Friends, you can take the girl out of the south... But that girl might get a bit weepy when she hears the music of her people.

And yeah.. She's been drinking, but when you look over and see your very British child singing along to Sweet Home Alabama.. Well, that's concentrated awesome.

I know. I'll shush now.

Just Breathe

Redneck.

So taking a holiday for two and a half weeks is pretty much insane to begin with.. I think most people can handle about ten days of holiday before thoughts turn from 'Whee!' to 'Whoah!'

An additional eight days was sort of just asking for slightly more stress and even more boredom.

I think being an expat, I always feel like I have to maximize time with my family as I have it. That and having a child in a school with a three week Easter break.. Well, it just sort of added up to taking two and a half weeks. So, that was cool and I'd made peace with being away from Corporateland.

But a freaking Icelandic volcano shutting down European airspace?! Boy, I didn't see that coming..

I can't get home now for another week.. My flight has been rebooked for a week and a day later than originally planned and thats assuming that flights are able to happen again soon. Fuuuuck off, volcanic ash.

I've been amusing myself trying to hang out in weird, quirky local places. The picture over there was taken at 11pm at the convienence store, where i decided to try on various redneck hats and alphabetize all the different varieties of pork rinds. Who knew there were so many amazing flavours of fried pig flesh?

So I'm now contemplating how to spend the additional week here.. I'll admit I'm treading water in a pretty impressive stylee. My two week gym membership has run out, I've used up all my credit on my Starbucks card, I've already gone on a comedy underpants buying spree, I've hung out at the Apple Store more than once to creep wifi, I ran out of Maoam two days ago, I've played and almost enjoyed Pirate themed mini-golf... The absolutely mundane and stupid complaints go on and on. And yes, I realise I'm being a bit annoyingly tediously whingey. I know.. I know..

In other news.. I continue to adore my iPad. love it very, very much. It's not been out of my line of sight in the last two weeks.

I'm trying to avoid covering it in pork rind crumbs and droplets of cheap beer. Honest.

ps - there's no freaking way I'd eat pork rinds.. and the Miller High Life 40oz beer? Well, as much as I'd love to drink it out of a paper bag in a parking lot somewhere.. I'm really more of a $3 bottle of screw top wine girl.

I'm going to the gym.

Yeah, nothing more to report. I'll do better tomorrow.

I have to admit something to you. I'm not a very girly girl. I care not so much for shoes and I tend to only get excited about a handbag if it's cute *and* functional. It gets extra points with me if it has lots of nifty pockets and headphone storage. I guess you could say I'm more backpack than evening bag - more boot than shoe.

So armed with the above, you can join me for a giggle that I'm at the nail salon with my daughter and mom having a pedicure. I feel rather pretty, witty and gay!

The pastor at my parents' church just said tattoos, jeans and secular music are evil. I swear, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

I shit you not it's like I'm in Footloose. C'mon kids - let's cross the county line and throw a senior prom!

So uh.. yesterday. I'm not sure if you're aware but Apple launched the iPad into the geekosphere. I might've marched my ass down to the closest Apple Store and bought one.

I'm not saying I did. I'm saying that I might've. Okay, fuck it. I did and it's a tiny box full of mega concentrated awesome.

I have a bit of a she-cave going on here on my floor in my parents' house (remember, I'm on holiday, supposedly relaxing) .. so as I look around me, I have my MacBook Pro in front of me, my iPad to its left and my iPhone to the right.

Where did I put that Uhura jumper again? I think I'm going to need it. Thankfully, I look hot in tight and red. Ooh and that little doohickey thing that let's me speak to others just by pressing my shirt - well, that is kind of appealing too.

So far I've had massive nerd ADHD and haven't really found myself that stuck in to any one app on the iPad. I just keep bouncing from app to app to app, paying a bit here and there.

The one thing I will say is that I'm a bit put out at how much the paid apps are for the iPad. It's a pretty rare day when I shuck out anything more than £2 for an iPhone app. Most of the iPad apps are running in the $5-$10* range. Holy that's too expensive Batman! I'm hoping we see the price point going down a bit as more and more apps come online. I mean, I'm cute but I'm not made of money.

More news as I have it.. hey - Happy Easter, by the way.

(*I'm in America and the iPad isn't available in the UK yet - so who knows what the app prices will be in GBP.)

You might be interested to know that it took the following for me to finally make wifi happen at Starbucks today:

• I had to buy a new American Starbucks card
• I had to put money on said new American Starbucks card
• On my iPhone I had to register said new American Starbucks card
• On my iPhone I had to create an AT&T account which is linked to my new American Starbucks card 
• I had to then log in to use the wifi

By which time I'd already demolished my triple* grande sugar-free vanilla latte and it was time to go. 

But next time... next time - I'm so there. Hell, I may even stay for my two hours maximum wifi'age. I triple dog dare me. 

*Yes, I know that isn't my usual order. I'd just been to the gym and totally talked myself into it. Uh, I'll be sticking with the double tall as usually ordered. The grande was just too much.

I'd like to marry Valium and make it my wife.

Maximum dose onboard.. We are fucking all systems go! I know we're on an aeroplane very high up .. But look! There's magazines! And shopping! And blankets! And that (not very nice) lady just brought me ice cream!

Where am I again?

My apologies to the people waiting in line behind me for the loo. See, I've just recently learned the choreography to the new Lady GaGa Telephone video... And it just made sense to plug into headphones abd practice there. I know, hot, huh?

Oh, what? You had to pee? I gently ask you to revise your principles on this..

In other news we're coming in to land in Atlanta.. Mote from wifi world as I think it up..

Want to see anything on request?

I was totally Shuffle Punched by Billy Joel, of all people! I mean, like "ka-bam, howsya like this, then!?!" Then the ball (which I'm using as a metaphor for my teeny brain) gets the crap whacked out of it as it goes sailing out of the stadium. And I'm just left standing there at home plate looking more than a little vacant and rather confused.

So yeah - Billy Joel. BillyfreakingJoel. Apparently I will weep on demand if you play 'you're my home'...

I know, right? Shocked the crap our of me too. I blame the Valium.

Dude - I'm 39,000 feet high! Over water! Only slightly concerned about how wiggly this flight seems to be..

How much longer?

Not only am I awake and in a taxi on the way to the airport.... I'm ever so slightly a little too perky for this hour of the morning.

I feel kinda sorry for anyone who has already or will be speaking to me in the near future. I think I'm so buzzy on lack of sleep and 'oh shit' adrenaline that my voice has gone up at least two octaves.

Yes, that's right. I now sound like a dolphin.

That's hot, right?

I'm thinking about doing the flight from City to Dublin without drugs. It'd be rude of me to ask for vodka at 7am, though, huh? I just want to save the zoom zoom good drugs for the flight from Dublin to Atlanta..

I'm rationing the zoom. Mainly to help me stay calm. Okay, I admit it.. For a bit of fun too.

Seriously? I would make a very good stoned 70's housewife.

I have to be awake in two hours. I have to be in a taxi en route to the airport in three hours. I have to take off in an aeroplane in four and a half hours.

In five and a half hours I'll be in Dublin airport. In seven and a half hours I'll be en route to Atlanta.

A mere 17.5 hours from now I'll land in Atlanta.

Adventure ahoy..