Hmm.. the new must have books on parenting?

One should note that even though I'm posting this list - my children are blissfully too perfect for me to need these books. They're still funny ha ha, though. I think I might add Go the Fuck to Sleep to my collection which already includes Everyone Poops, The Gas We Pass (The Story of Farts) and an odd assortment of books on snot.

Baby Get Me Some Lovin' by Lisa Brown: If you're a new parent, you know how hard it is to get quality alone time with your partner. Instead of blaming the kid, put him to work! This handy manual will teach your baby how to set the mood for an intimate evening (and then make himself scarce). Thanks, Baby!

Baby Fix My Car by Lisa Brown: Are you a parent? Are you tired of driving around in an old wreck of an automobile? Never fear - help is on the way. This book will teach your little ones the ins and outs of basic repair. It's quick, easy, and best of all, much cheaper than your local garage. Thanks, Baby!

Can I Give Them Back Now?: The Aargh to Zzzz of Parenting by Joanna Simmons: A is for Anxiety, Alcohol and awful Activities. B is for Bedtime, Baking and Boredom. C is for Childcare and Cooking With Your Coat on. N is for Not Swearing (bloody frustrating) and S is for Soft Play Places, Sniffing Babies' Arses (to see if they've filled their nappies - are there not easier ways of finding out?) and Sex (see also L, for lack thereof).

The flowers doze low in the meadows
And high on the mountains so steep.
My life is a failure, I’m a shitty-ass parent.
Stop fucking with me, please, and sleep.

From Go the Fuck to Sleep by Adam Mansbach