"One-sixteenth of the time people are happy. The rest of the time they’re not. So if you start to avoid all the things that cause unhappiness then maybe there’s a small chance you can improve the ratio in your favor."

"Always look back and ask yourself: “Am I smoking crack?” Every day check the ashtray. Is there crack in there? Delusions will keep you from making progress. Then suddenly, no money, no friends, no  PR. It’s just you on your bed smoking your last piece of crack, hanging onto the lonely panties of the last hooker who left you alone. This is your mind on crack."

Nine Ways to Guarantee Success (and Failure)

You may thank me later for opening your mind and helping you succeed. I'm nice like that.

Hey, stay sexy friends and enjoy your weekend in Bejebus's glorious sunshine, okay?