There are 145.9 days until my 40th birthday..

What's that? I don't look old enough to be staring the four-oh (or my preference, the big four-oh-fucking-shit-how-did-this-happen) in the face? You're kind, friend.. Real, real kind.

I'd like to thank the Academy, my parents for a decent gene pool and Garnier Ultra-Lift moisturiser. Okay, who am I kidding? I'd really like to thank all the little people that I've stepped on en route to the age that apparently is the new 30 or 20 or whatever people are saying these days.

Can I just take the time to say that I don't really care that 40 is the new 30 because uh, I thought 30 was old when it was the new 20. Call me when 40 is the new 18. Saying that - my life really found awesome in the last year, so maybe 40 is really only the new 39?

Ponderous.

Sorry, where was I? Oh yes - I was about to say fuck it - I have 145.9 (probably 149.8 by now) days to worry about whatever the 'essence of 40' is and what that means to me and how it will affect me. I'm guessing it won't make that much difference. But if it does, please don't remind me that I said it wouldn't.

Thanks.

Anyway.. what I really wanted to talk about is cooking and puppies and what sort of trouble the boyfriendliest and I should try to find over the upcoming weekend while balancing the needs of three people under 5'2".

In other words, I'm going to ignore the next 145.9 days. Although, I suppose a bit of cake pre-planning wouldn't hurt!

Speaking of cake - the only cake I will deign to eat is red velvet but only in the form of a cupcake and even then I will only eat half. I know, I know.. Trust me, I'm not trying to be cake-ist, it's just not my thing.

Oh and.. Apparently pie is the new cupcake just like 40 is the new 30. I'm guessing the cupcakes of the world are fucking thrilled to hear that they're no longer cool. Poor cupcakes, it was fun while it lasted, huh?

Ooh!  Remember how Turducken was all the rage about four Thanksgivings and Christmasses ago? (so popular that you can now order a ready-made turducken from Marks & Spencer because who doesn't love mass-produced combined meat products?) Well now there's Cherpumple - three cakes and three pies in one. A cherry pie baked inside a chocolate cake, an apple pie baked inside a yellow cake, and a pumpkin pie baked inside a gingerbread cake.

A vomit baked inside a fart would suit me better. Ick.