Thinkings..

A mere 65 days stands between me and my 40th birthday. Just in case you were curious, bored and/or interested.

But first - the boyfriendliest's birthday is fast approaching. Like two weeks from today kind of approaching. I have a few gift ideas rattling around in my melon but haven't quite decided on what will be, I'm sure, the greatest gift of all time (TGGOAT).

I always like to give gifts that are not just cool but meaningful as well. Now, TGGOAT ... well, it's for my boyfriend, my favourite person in the whole world. So it's going to have to be some kind of awesome.

Think, eBeth, think!

(I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that two of our three children also have birthdays before my gloriously undignified descent into old age happens in 65 days and the other a mere 11 days afterwards. But they're easy - see.. I've turned them on to the concept of Amazon wish lists. They think of it, whack it down on their list and ka-blam! Perfect 'just what I always wanted' present scenarios ensue!)

ps - Amazon totally owes me for all the business I will now, surely, throw their way. Vouchers will be fine, Mr Amazon, thanks. 

My favourite Dilberts

Nerd ahoy / Coffee dork.

The scene:
I'm reading my usual RSS feeds on a Sunday morning. He's taking a break from killing things / playing Call of Duty: Black Ops and looks over my shoulder.

He: You read a Starbucks gossip blog...?!!!

Me: Yeah, why?

He: No reason, but isn't that a bit uh... yeah?

Me: Well, remember when I told you that they were changing their logo earlier this year and I was the only person that we know who knew, including the good people at our local Starbucks? And do you remember how it was me who told said good people that their logo was changing and they just looked at me like I was this oracle of total awesome?*

He: Uh.. yeah?

Me: That's why. Well, that and because I fucking rule.

He: .... smirks and goes back to killing things.

(*okay, they didn't really look at me like I was awesome.. they looked at me like I was an idiot who always orders overly complicated lattes and who happens to read a Starbucks gossip blog.)

What's that? Why yes, that is a new picture over there. Enjoy!

In other news.. here's the song I can't get out of my head - Enjoy!

And here's the viral video that makes me laugh Every. Single. Time. I watch it.
Yeah? - Enjoy!

Okay, so being a bit of a nerd, a lover of books and always willing to at least listen to advice from others... I thought I'd see what books on step-parenting are out there and if any of them looked interesting and/or helpful*.

I have the Kindle app for my iPhone, so I was dicking about on Amazon, looking for those nice free sample chapters that I can peruse at my leisure to see if a book seems interesting or something I wouldn't mind paying for or at the very least borrowing from the library**.

So I search the Kindle store for the simple term 'stepmother' ... here are the results I received in order. You don't actually get to a "normal" self-help type book until result number ten!

• The Stepmother's Sinfully Sexy Surprise  
• The Young Step-Mother
• The Stepmothers Sins
• My Stepmother's Surprise Seduction - An Erotic Novella
• Taboo: Step-Mother's Desperate Measures  
• The Ambitious Stepmother
• The Stepmother Gangbang
• The Wicked Stepmother: A Novel of Erotic Discovery
• The Spanking Stepmother 

Now, it's not that I'm not ambitious or young ..because I totally am. 

But I'm not really all that sinful or desperate or taboo or wicked or even one who likes to spank. Oh and I never ever plan surprise seductions because most days the only way I get to seductive is usually by accident (see first sentence in which I mention being a dork).

Blergh - unhelpful and it, worse still, it completely put me off my lunch. 

Amazon totally owes me £2.35.

*I should state for the record that currently I think I'm totally okay as a step-parent and am really enjoying our lovely blended family. But I figure it can't hurt to know more than I may ever need. Knowledge is power.

**I love how I said that like I go to the library all the time and am a library patron in good standing. We all know the truth, right? I took out a book on the 4th of January and it hasn't quite made its way back yet. I'm going to burn in book hell, I just know it.

***And yes, I know that's not the most flattering photo. Duh. I was emoting, people.

If there's one thing you should know about me that's ever so slightly embarrassing, it's this...

I will listen to ANYTHING that's been autotuned. And I will not just listen to it, I will love it. Adore it. Think it's really excellent music. (I suppose it's something that I can admit that I know it's not, but I kinda like it anyway)

I adore all the geeky Symphony of Science songs (and you should note that I think Stephen Hawking should be permanently autotuned, seeing as he's a robot). I have them on my iPhone... I sing them to myself in my head - and yes, I sing them to myself autotuned.

The Black Eyed Peas AT stuff? Love it.

Then I found AutoTune the News .. HIGHlarious. I mean, who doesn't love an autotuned Katie Couric saying that everything is Pure Poppycock while singing about Bill Cosby? Hmm...?

Knowing me as well as he does - the boyfriendliest partner shared this with me. It satisfies me on so many levels.. The Apprentice? Check. Autotuned? Check check.

Enjoy!